Saturday, March 04, 2006

Attention Lawyers

There is nothing thin about Thin Mints. Nothing! I am going to sue someone. But Who? Maybe the clown that ordered a case, yes an entire case of Thin Mints! She should definitely be held responsible. Or maybe that cute little Brownie that lives upstairs and peddled them in the first place. She is like a dealer. She arrives innocent at the door with her sweet smile and piles of cheerfully boxed cookies. And then asks for a check or cash. Shaking I run for my wallet.

Opening up a sleeve only leads to that sleeves entire consumption in a solo attack of the cellophane wrapper. Then another sleeve starts hollering my name. Screaming, "Eat me. Eat me.", over and over until I can't stand it any more. I give in like a lover weak in the knees. Lusting after another Thin Mint. A little chocolate drool forms in the corner of my mouth. I am a pathetic addict.

IMPORTANT message to Otter: Back Away from the Thin Mints. Put down that sleeve. Good, now back up nice and slow. Yes, that's it. Slow. Good. Don't even think about grabbing that sleeve and stuffing it in your mouth. Take it easy now. Want a drink of water? No more Thin Mints. Good. Just step away.

6 comments:

Laura said...

Hehe! They aren't, are they? The Snackwells mint cookies (which are new), I find just as delicious, though, and they're at least better for you than the thin mints are. I've made myself stick to them this year.

As far as Suzanne Vega - what CD or CDs do you have of hers? (I think I have all of them, except Retrospective - because it contained a lot of songs I already had, I used iTunes to buy only the few I didn't.)

donna said...

I was disappointed in the Thin Mints this year. Nothing like the ones I remember from my childhood, where you could scrape all the coating off with your teeth and then eat the cookie. Now they just fall apart. Pah. I was glad I wasn't the one who bought them, and I only had a couple. Not worth the trouble anymore.

Sigh.

GreenishLady said...

Gosh! I am so glad we don't have girl scout cookies around here. They sound positively lethal.

Laura said...

Solitude Standing is the first of hers that I got also, and still speaks very strongly to me. Each of the others (except Retrospective, which is a blend) seems to me to have its own tone and feel. I do think you would like Rosemary from Retrospective, though. Then again, that may just be because it's my absolute favorite song of hers these days. :)

Julie said...

Samoas are my weakness. I found when I got home that someone (probably mother in law who babysits my daughter) opened the samoas. My first instinct was to be irritated, the second was to hide them. Now I've eaten two and going back for more once I click "login and publish."

We can only be grateful they don't sell these all year.

Kara said...

Ah, thin mints - I haven't run into a girlscout to buy some this year. My hubby missed the day at work when some father of a girl scout was taking orders. I always buy the thin mints but sometimes by the time the girl scouts are out in front of a grocery store they have sold out of thin mints. Oh no, that could mean I'll miss my chance to consume an entire sleeve in one sitting! Why hasn't someone shut down this operation - something this addictive must have some substance that needs to be regulated by our taxpayer dollars! Funny post Otter!