Sunday, April 02, 2006

Sunday Scribblings

Here it is, the first writing prompt for Sunday Scribblings:

What would you attempt if you knew you would not fail?

Fly without fear. That's what I would do if I knew I wouldn't fail. I wish I could sit in my seat without squeezing the circulation out of my husband's hand. When I fly I squeeze harder than when I delivered any of our three babies. I hate to fly. Especially on small planes. Fear chokes me like a Boa Constrictor. Most of our flying is on a small jet, so it is something I really need to get over.

Last night we were flying and as I sat in my seat watching the last little trace of the sun set I was filled with a new kind of peacefulness I never thought possible while in the air. The pilot, Danny, said "Come up here and fly the plane." NO! Not a possibility. My husband encouraged me, "Come on Honey. Do it!" Danny has assured me over and over that if I sign up for flying lessons I will not be scared of flying anymore. He promises I will never white-knuckle my way from city to city ever again. Somehow I can't imagine flying any other way than scared and nervous.

After the sun set, I sat in my seat and watched the pilots. Fear washed over me. What if the pilots make a mistake, what if we lose cabin pressure. Creepily Payne Stewart images were flashing rapid-fire through my mind. What if, what if, what if, what if. Then I thought, "what if" hasn't happened yet. Relax. Enjoy.

After we landed I said to the other pilot Mark, "Well I lived again." He shot me a look and said, "Of course, I won't have it any other way." So maybe, just maybe next time I fly I'll go sit up in the cock pit, get a little more intimate with the control panel and lose some of my fear. Will I fail or fly?

8 comments:

Laini said...

Ooh, I hate flying too, more and more as I get older. It used to not phase me at all but I guess I'm more aware of my mortality now. I get very white-knuckled. I try to think of all the people who fly every day or every week for work, stewardesses and people who travel for business, and how they are fine, flight after flight. I know that doesn't mean something couldn't happen to THIS flight, but it does make me feel a little better. Thanks for participating in Scribblings! I love your blog title -- also, I think it's so great your 14-year-old son is a published writer!

Endment said...

My feet and hands tingle just reading your description. I used to fly a lot but never really got used to it.

Kara said...

Lisa - this makes me even more scared than the poem you posted on Thursday and that one had me in knots. I love that you are doing the Sunday Scribblings. I have to do conscious deep breathing and meditation when I fly - and on a small plane it's a real test - but I try to avoid small planes.

megg said...

I used to love flying but I'm getting more and more frightened the more I do it. I hope you do go to that cockpit!

tess said...

Wow--it's exciting to hear that you are moving in on this fear of yours. I think you're going to be in the cockpit soon!

HoBess said...

This is a great post. I got your jitters right here in my comfy chair. Can't wait to read about your flying lessons, because I'm certain you will start taking them!

Holly said...

Hey there! Love the image on your post. Do tell about it!!!! Funny - I just wrote about flying too. But I don't mind it at all. Rather fly then drive (except for the cattle call and obnoxious drunk man next to me). It's way safer and hey - if it goes down it won't hurt much. Not like other options. I know....not helping! Miss you!

Caroline said...

There was an amusing radio sketch about flying on Monday - if you are interested you can still hear it at:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/ayresontheair/pip/loyq5/

I hope you find flying much easier in the future.